iCook (sometimes)

Chicken with Penne pasta and a simple spinach salad

Chicken with Penne pasta and Spinach.

The pasta: I didn't want any thick tomato or alfredo sauce so instead I made a butter sauce with sauteed red bell peppers and onions. Topped with Feta cheese.

The spinach: I served them raw with a simple raspberry vinaigrette.

Chicken: No special technique here. Cook the chicken how you like. I seasoned it and cooked it on the stove with olive oil.

Try it yourself and enjoy. :)

-Desi

What do you keep calling for? It's over...

I remember when we "broke up".

I put that in quotes because we were never really dating, just "talking". Whatever that means. That is some phenomenon my generation created that never had any kind of definitive meaning. I think it was created to make a girl feel just special enough to stick around but still give the guy the freedom to mess with whoever he wants without technically cheating.

Anyhoo, I remember when we "broke up".

This is the guy that I mentioned a few blogs ago. The one guy that managed to get me to fall in love. When it all ended, it was a very dramatic situation. Lots of yelling involved. I will admit there was quite a bit of back and forth between us before I really decided to be done for real, and there was quite a bit of insecurity on my part while we were together.

I has been about one year and three months since we ended our "relationship" and I'm glad it's over.

There was a time when I cut off all communication. He lost his phone, thus losing my number. Then I deleted him off facebook, twitter, and skype. Then blocked him on all three so there would be no enabling through secret stalking. (lol) Sounds extreme, I know, but take my word for it. It was necessary and he deserved it.

A few months after all this I calmed down and although he was not allowed back in my world of social networking, we ran into eachother one day and I allowed him to have my number as an attempt to form a friendship.

Biggest mistake ever.

I really should have stuck with my first instinct because in the last few months I have had to deal with phone call after phone call after text message after phone call. Today we graduated to the next level: voice mails.

I just don't get it. I know I'm pretty cool and all but you have to know when to let go! I mean come on! We haven't even had a polite conversation in forever. He always had the ability to get under my skin, to piss me off and turn me into a bitchy version of myself that's barely recognizable.

I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. I would really like for him to just move on, like I have.

-Desi

Hey! You There!

So here I was, slaving away at this keyboard, well not slaving but still I need you to feel my intensity here. Here I was blogging at least once a week, and posting on facebook every single time hoping that someone would read what I had to say. All I could think was that my friend over at http://takcurligurl.blogspot.com/ was the only person reading because no matter what I wrote, she was the only one to comment!

Imagine an upset me wondering why no one was reading. Feeling like the most uninteresting person on the net because I couldn't even get my facebook friends to say anything, anything at all. Although I don't have the time to blog as often as I'd like to, I was trying to come up with more ideas, things that kept my blog new and interesting but still nothing. No comments.

Then, out of no where, people started bringing up things I only said in my blogs, they already knew the endings to stories I didn't tell them yet. And I got excited! Do you know what that means? That means that you all are reading!

And "they" say people don't read anymore? "They" have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe "they" are really the uninteresting one's and no one cares what "they" have to say...

I don't know, BUT what I do know is that I have readers!

I'd love to know who's reading. It would make me happy to know my audience and it would help me to write things you guys might care about. So here's what I need you to do: COMMENT! :) Let me know who you are. Tell me what you love. Tell me what you hate. Give me ideas. Ask me questions. Get to know me and let me get to know you. Or just simply stop in an say you're reading!


Yes I'm talking to you. YOU!

YOU! lol Ok I think you get it :)

Thanks

-Desi

Me? Fashionable? Why thank you!

I remember when I was younger. I was a middle schooler down in Miami when my mom let me pick out the pair of shoes I wanted, all on my own. Her advice was simple. "Get what you like."

Now I was about 12 at the time. At that age when my light up Sailor Moon LA Gears were no longer cool so if I wanted to be the talk of the town, or at least the talk of my homeroom class, I needed a major style upgrade. Something that said "watch out world, I'm not a little elementary school girl anymore!"

I remember going to Ross with my mom and looking through what seemed to be an endless section of shoes, I was a little overwhelmed. After years of having my mom choose clothes and shoes and just wearing what she gave me, this task seemed daunting. All I could think was "I am not a little kid anymore! I want the opposite of my LA Gears." Thinking color was synonymous with child-like, I opted for the blandest shoes of the bunch, a pair of plain white sneakers.

I wish I could say that I loved those shoes so much and I customized them and made them my own -- but that's not what happened. I think I wore them two or three times before I admitted defeat and went back to letting my mom get what she wanted for me.

I did try again over the years and i trusted myself a little more, although it took me a while before I started to trust outlandish color pallets.

I had years when I only wore jeans, years when I was interested in nothing but sneakers, years when I only painted my toes jet black and years when I thought rolling my flare jeans into capris was better than buying jeans that were already cut to capri length.

We'll just put it this way, It took me a while to really find my style.

Thankfully, I think I'm finally making some head way.

The common myth seems to be that skinny girls get all the breaks when it comes to shopping because everything just magically fits. Not True!

Where things are too tight and too small on you, they are ridiculously big on me, fitting like a burlap sack, and cleavage? What's that?

Us skinny girls have our struggles too!

I think in the last two years Ive really learned to find clothes that look good on my body type. (Thank God!)

I know you want some pictures! So let me stop talking and show you what I wore today.

Dress Ross Stores $8.99

Belt Wet Seal $9.99

Earrings Somewhere in NY (Gift :))

I wanna be a billionaire so friggin' bad.. but only if I'm doing what I love

So I've been thinking and I realize that I have no interest in working for someone else for the rest of my life. At this point all the work I do for other people is for the sole purpose of learning the business and doing things for myself later.

I've been talking to my best friend over at http://takcurligurl.blogspot.com/ and these conversations have really started to inspire me.

I don't know exactly how this will happen or what exactly I will be doing as I'm working for myself but the desire is there. It's not that I have a problem with authority or I have issues with being told what to do, and I know it would take quite a bit of work to make it happen. I just want to be able to create something, nurture it and watch it grow into some great.

I'm not ready for babies, and chia pets are lame so I figured I'd start a business lol

But seriously though!

Dear Chris Brown,

Chris Brown leaving Good Morning America- shirtless. Bad move.

 Picture Courtesy of TMZ

Dear Chris Brown,

I am writing this letter with deep concern for your career, and since your public relations team is obviously failing, I think it's beyond time for you to make some changes, or quit singing.

I'm not exactly sure what the problem is. Either your PR team is not doing what you pay them to do, or you are not listening!

Step one: Fire who ever you have doing that job and hire someone that is either better at the job or someone you fear enough to listen to.

Step two: Create a new plan, because clearly the one you have is NOT working.

I've been working as an unpaid intern all semester so working for free means nothing to me at this point. I just want to help you out. Here some advice.

You have to understand one thing. YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM HERE. If you want to talk to the press, you have to know that they will ask you about Rihanna. That's what fans are curious about and instead of throwing chairs through windows and looking like the crazy, hostile and angry person everyone thinks you are, here's how things should have gone:

(Reporter asks about Rihanna)

Your sample response: "It was an unfortunate situation. I'm really sorry to Rihanna and my fans and I hope everyone can forgive me for what I did." Talk about how your past effected you (abusive dad etc.). But dont go on forever. That would make you seem insincere. Talk about all the anger management classes and therapy you have been doing (and actually do it) because you know how horrible what you did was. Talk about how you never want to let your anger get to that point again. Say how happy you are for Rihanna's success. Congratulate her and apologize again.

When this all happened two years ago, people, even women, where on your side then you went crazy begging for fans, flipping out because you weren't instantly forgiven.

Saying that you have gotten past it, and that you dont want to talk about the past does not make us sympathize with you. You have to understand that time stands still in the land of fame and fortune. No one seems to age until one day they are old and problems ignored are problems remembered. Talk about Rihanna until we're tired of you apologizing. And not just in interviews, but on facebook, twitter, myspace (so the five people still on myspace can know too). Bring it up so much that we don't even want to talk about it anymore.

We don't know what happened that night and even if Rihanna had a gun to your head and you had to beat her up or die.. you will never be the victim in this. Stop looking for sympathy. You will never get it. Own up, say you're sorry, repeat it and mean it. Let us like you, please.


And I just have one more piece of advice, hire me, because I clearly have a better plan than your PR people.

Yours,
Desiree

PS. As far as the comparison to Charlie Sheen: That's like one murderer getting upset that another murderer got off. It's as simple as this: Shit Happens. That doesn't make what you did ok. Didn't you mother ever tell you life isn't fair?

10 Things I Hate About You

So I was just thinking about the movie, 10 Thing I hate About You, (you know the one with Julia Styles and Heath Ledger) and it made me think about this guy that plagues my mind when ever things get too quiet. Every now and then I forget why we're not together anymore and I must remind myself why we had no choice but to part ways.. SPOILER ALERT: this doesn't end like the movie where the thing she hates the most is that she doesn't hate him at all.. nope.. I definitely don't want this guy lol

This is simply therapeutic.. most of these are superficial and are by no means his worst traits and he definitely had some good ones too.. but this is about the not-so-good stuff lol

Here's why we could never work...

10. He was a dog person and I'm TERRIFIED of dogs. All dog of all shapes, sizes and breeds. I don't get used to them and while I may learn to tolerate them eventually it will never grow to like. He would want a dog eventually and I would have no part of it. It could never work.

9. He mixed up "to" and "too" in every text message. EVERY SINGLE TIME! I mean come on! Did he not notice that I used them correctly. Did he think I was using them wrong? It could never work.

8. He liked the movie Couple's Retreat.. I HATE that movie! It could never work.

7. He was a Taurus.. I don't really follow astrology much but I read up on our match and our demise was predicted.. Even the stars knew, it could never work.

6. He worked with me.. doesn't anymore (Thank God) Mixing business with pleasure is never a good idea.

5. He was an accounting major.. Boring.. No offense to the accountants out there but who dreams of working in a cubicle for the rest of their lives?

4. Spontaneous was NOT his middle name.. he had to know exactly what movie we were seeing before we left the house, what restaurant we were going to, what the weather would be like, what time things started, what time things ended... every single detail! and that is just for the few times I could actually get him to leave the house.. I'm not much of a planner.. I like to play things by ear.. It could never work.

3. He had his ears pierced and if my hands were cold, I couldn't touch him until they warmed up.. I put these together because they are both a turn off for the same reason.. they're both pretty gay.. and I am always cold and so are my hands.. It could never work.

2. He was afraid of random animals like lions and bears and sharks on Animal Planet as if he'd ever run into them in Tallahassee.. come on..

1. He didn't bring me any medicine when I was sick and he smoked.. IT COULD NEVER WORK!

So I cheated and squeezed 12 into this list of 10 but you get the point.. ;)

-Desi

The Hair

I like it, although I'd like it more if it took less time and hurt less lol..

Front

Top

Back

Hair salons = pain

So, as you all know I am in Jamaica. I have been here before and I remember getting my hair done for pretty cheap so I was thinking, 'Yes, I can get some twists here for less than half the price and on my dads dime, great!'...

Now, I am not huge in the weave game. I rarely put extensions in my hair at all, even braides, because although people always love it, I have an issue with getting compliments for something that is not truely me. (Which is why I also couldn't get myself to buy that "Miraculous" bra from Victoria's Secret either. I didnt want to walk around pretending to be a D-cup and attracting boob men only for them to find out I'm really a B.. false advertising isn't my thing lol)

But back to the point.

We got to the salon around 1 pm. No one touched my hair until about 3 pm. and the girl was rough! She yanked and pulled and jerked my beautiful curls around with this untra fine comb before blow drying it with the hottest blow dryer I have ever felt. I wanted to  rethink this whole "getting my hair done" thing.

The experience took forever and my and my hair were both exausted at the end of it all! At the end of the 10 hour ordeal, my hair looked great. However I have decided to swear off salons that are more concerned with hair looking good than feeling good..

Pictures are coming soon enough..

We, the women of the fatherless tribe, love differently...

I didn't get the chance to grow up with my dad. I grew up with an asshole for a step dad until he died and then it was a single parent home. I'm not bitter about my upbringing. I love me and how I turned out. I'm more independant than quite a few people my age, and I love that about myself. I don't even think about it most of the time, but today, it has been on my mind.

Like I said a few blogs ago, I'm staying at my dads house in Jamaica. My dad moved back to Jamaica at the very end of my eigth grade year and within a few months he started his "new family". Now I never had any high hopes of my parents getting together so I didn't care, but as I see my little brother and sister interact with my dad, I know that we will never have the relationship he will have with them.

There are no hard feelings between me and my dad. My childhood was just fine and he had a presence, I wasn't abandoned. He just wasn't there, living with me and having a say in everyday decisions. Even still, I dont even ask his opinion, I go over things with my mother, make a decision, then notify him.. That's just how it is.

I watched my little brother and sister throw around "I love you's" and run to him laughing and smiling with nothing but trust. I can't do that. It's strange to watch my dad, the man that was barely in my life and is still barely there now, it's hard to watch him be a good dad to them. My "I love you's" are few and calculated. I never want to say them because I dont want to feel obligated later. Sounds bad, I know. Please forgive me. This is how I view all relationships though. I only tell people I love them if I truely mean it and I think I'll mean it forever.

I dont look at all this as negative, just different. I have been in love, once, and he broke my heart. I survived, bounced back and screwed up massively with the next guy. I thought I cared more than I really did, and as a result gave more of myself than I should have, but I'm good now.

While I do love my family, I will admit, growing up without him ruined our relationship. I think there is a cap on how close we can get. There is just so much he doesn't know about me, and so much I'll probably never share. We, the women of the fatherless tribe, we love differently, we love carefully.

Everyting Irie... Jamaica: Day 2 recap/ Kids say the darnedest things haha

Day 2 is over now, and it was fun. I'm exausted but I didnt want to go to bed without letting you all know just how beautiful Jamaica is...

This picture looks like one of the backgrouds that come pre-programmed in computers. I wonder if I could sell this pic to Windows and bank off that.. anywho, we went to Mystic Mountains in Ocho Rios, it was beautiful, so much fun.

Me, adding to the beauty ;)

We all had a good time. They had a few rides but it was a pretty mellow day. We just took in the a lot of the sights and atmosphere. The pool area was a little small so I didnt get in the water so I guess that means no peeks at me in my bathing suit just yet lol but no worries they are coming!! My sister did get into the water though. She had a fun pretending to be a tourist and said some funny things today:

WHAT I LEARNED FOR MY LITTLE SISTER:

1. We shouldn't listen to Chris Brown even though he's coming out with new songs because he still beat up Rihanna.

2. Chris Brown did have a good reason to beat up Rihanna, she gave him AIDS.

3. Beyonce is demon possessed.

she might be on the right track with all this lol...

my dad.. and the little girl with all the answers :)

See you tomorrow,

-Desi

Jamaica: Day 2

So here I am in Jamaica for spring break! Day 1 was uneventful- maybe because it was raining but more likely because I slept for a total of about 10 hours in the 3 days before. I slept for about 13 hours last night and now I'm ready to do what spring breakers do!!.. Except with less alcohol lol.. I'm staying at my dad's house, can't be coming home all drunk.

As you know, or actually hopefully you dont, that means someone other that Tabitha or Shannon is reading my blog (exciting, welcome!), but I have a little bro and sister. My sister is 7 and she is talkative but it's ok. My little brother doesnt talk much. He's only 1 but he smiles at me pretty often espeically when I take pics of him. Pretty cool kids, I like 'em.



my little brother... picking his nose lol



my little sister.. smilin' and profilin'

I think today is going to be a beach day. I need some food first though.. we'll see what today brings and I'll share it all either later on or tomorrow. Time for food and some good ol' American TV:) more pics to come!

and one of my good friends Nerlande is coming tomorrow :)


-Desi (via a computer in Jamaica)

Jamaica!!! (Bucket List Item)

I'm working on my bucket list. The whole idea came about when I was reading an article in Clutch Magazine, which you should bookmark and read every Monday in my opinion. The article asked me if I would date me. The writer was talking about how she was still working on herself and how she still had a few flaws that made her less than the perfect mate. I do believe we should always be growing and changing so we will always feel less than perfect for the one we truly love. If we think we never need to make ourselves better for who we're with there's a problem in that relationship. but that's neither here nor there.

The thing that stuck out to me in her story was that she said that the list of experiences she wishes she had is miles longer than the list of experiences she has had. When I read than I had an "ah-ha" moment. (I've been having quite a few of those lately lol.)

So I say again, I've been working on my bucket list. Adding to it, and accomplishing things.

One of the goals was to travel more. I'm going to Jamaica on Saturday. Now I will admit I have been there before but with a tight budget, I grabbed the opportunity to go for spring break. Plus my family (dad, little sis and little bro) all live there, so I wanted to see them too.

I may revisit you all one more time before I go but most of the next few blogs will come from over seas :)

Good night and good travels

Desi

P.S. Make a bucket list, it's easier to accomplish things that are written down in front of you.