The Ketchup Nazis

It's always exciting when the head honchos from the Popeye's corporate offices down in Miami send out memos telling us to change random policies. Although we'll probably only follow what's in the memo for about two weeks before we go back to the old way of running things, our general manager always makes a big show out of reading the memo out loud, as if we can't manage to read the five sentences typed in 16 font ourselves, and making us all sign it.

Most of these memos are centered around anti-cell phone policies and need to be passed out pretty often since after a month of working with my general manager most people would rather risk homelessness than come to work one more day. I usually try to avoid signing these things (especially the anti-cellphone ones since I know good and well that I intend to use my cell phone every chance I get).

The most recent one however has by far been the funniest and most unnecessary one I have ever seen. The people in the corporate office have taken another step in their attempt to make working at Popeye's into rocket science. We are no longer allowed to offer customers condiments. However they are available upon request.

Now, if the memo would have stopped there this would have been no biggie -- but it didn't. According to this memo, we need to ask the customer how many of each condiment they need and in the event they ask for a "handful" of honey, give them one per biscuit. There will be no estimating! Then to make things that must more complicated, I decided to screw with my general manger and play a little game of what if.

"What if they ask for 12 packs of honey but only have 4 biscuits, is it ok to give them 12?"
"What if they order a small fry and ask for a handful of ketchup? How many fries do they have to have per pack of ketchup we give?"
"What if they ask for a handful of grape jelly and a handful of honey, but only ordered 2 biscuits? Should we give them 2 of each or just one of each?"
"What if they ask for a handful of hot sauce? How many packs do they get per piece of chicken they order?"

What made things funnier is that the GM took all these questions very seriously and considered them for a long time, asking others for their opinions and giving me seriously answering me. I was thoroughly entertained.

Going to work at Popeye's everyday feels like an episode of Seinfeld sometimes and now corporate is trying turn us all into the fast food equivalent of the soup nazi.. NO KETCHUP FOR YOU!! lol

-Desi

sn: don't sleep on Seinfeld.. Hilarious show. anyhoo, I think I'll go find something to drink because, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days..

I know it's been a while but I'm back and I figured I'd tell you guys what happened with "the guy who reads".

To make a long story short, things didn't work out. But I know you want to know what happened so I'll tell you all about it.

Now I will say that while I am not impossible to please, I have high expectations. I will let the little things slide further down the road but you should not be making mistakes in the first week of meeting me or any girl you could possibly take seriously for that matter. I'm not saying you have to be perfect but if I learn all your flaws before I can find your redeeming qualities, I wont be around long.

So here's what happened:

I gave the guy my number. He did not call for 3 days.. now this is not something I've experienced before. I will say that is partly because I usually know the guys I talk to on this level for a while before numbers are ever exchanged but even the few that I have met randomly usually call or text or something by the next day. This rubbed me the wrong way.. I don't like feeling insecure so he was already not on my good side.. and then he made things worse..

Three days after getting my number he sends me a text message, at 11:16 pm.. not good. He starts this inappropriately late (since he's still a stranger and all) conversation with these profound words: "u wrk @ popeyes."

Now at this point, I didn't even have his number so I'm confused. I ask who he is (since he didn't bother to introduce himself) he says its him with a straight faced smiley as if I should have guessed (and I say this to him and he confirms that's exactly what he thought). Then he makes a major mistake, he forgot my name. I still don't know how since he did the whole "like Desiree's Baby" thing but he asked: "wats ur name" and I decided it was time to get rid of the guy who reads..

Now if you're reading this and you think I'm being too harsh, remember I've only know this guy a couple days and he met me at work (where I wear a name tag!) and I told him my name again when I gave him my number and now he's texting me at midnight asking me my name? I'm not going for it. This is like foreshadowing of what I'd have to look forward to.

So this was my response: "You don't remember my name? Not a good look.Not to mention, for our first convo ever, you txt me during booty call hours days after you get my number.. Honestly we wouldn't work."

and that was the end of the "guy who reads"

Free at Last.. Free at Last.

I disappeared for a little bit, but it was crunch time and I had some loose ends to tie up before I could sit down and come back to you guys.. BUT the semester is over and I'm finished with finals (Thank God!!) so I'm coming back! GET EXCITED!!

He's a Reader?.. I'm Down.. :)

So there's this guy.

Now I meet guys, people in general really, all the time. There are very few guys who are worth mentioning here. I like to save this space for the guys I've already tired and failed. It helps with the healing process, I guess lol.

But this time I have a "how we met" story that, in my opinion, is worth telling.

Here goes:

I met him the first time about a month or two ago. He came into my job (Popeye's, I don't think I told you guys I work at Popeye's.. hopefully I get out of there VERY soon), but yes, he came into  my job. To make a long and not so interesting story short, we had a simple conversation while he waited, he made me laugh then he got his food and we both moved on.

He came in again earlier this week. Things didn't click at first but then I remembered who he was. More talking, more laughing, then he asked for my number. I was evasive. I said no without actually saying no and everyone walked away still smiling. I think I've become a master at turning guys down without seeming like a jerk. I think it's a skill that all girls need.

Anyway, he was pretty persistent. Persistence is like kryptonite when it comes to turning guys down so I told him that if we ever run into each other outside of my job, I'd give him my number. Little did I know, he lives in my apartment complex. So we ran into each other much faster than I ever thought we would.

As I was walking to my car today he was driving by and he saw me. He stopped and reversed to speak for a while. I gave him my number thinking, eh no biggie, if he turns out to be a lame I can easily ignore the calls if I want. Then he asked me my name. Now normally I'd be upset if he didn't remember my name but because of how we met we never had a formal greeting so names were never exchanged. I didn't know his either.

So I answered and didn't hold it against him. "My name is Desiree" I said before asking him his. Now when I tell people my name, or they read it, the response is always something to the effect of calling me "Desire" then I have to go through the motions of correcting them and explaining that my name has two e's and it's not desire because I am not a stripper..

His response was different though. He said "Desiree? Like Desiree's Baby" and I'll admit, he caught me off guard and sparked an interest that most guys never spark so quickly, if at all. His response didn't register for a second. Then I realized what he was saying to me and what this meant.

In case you don't know, Desiree's Baby is a short story written by Kate Chopin, the woman who wrote The Awakening which is one of my favorite books as far as old European lit goes. And the fact that the first thing he thinks after hearing my name is European literature says that he is my kind of guy. If the limited experience I've had with the opposite sex is the basis for any kind of judgment, I'll say this is rare. To find a guy who reads more than just information presented in 160 characters or less is not easy, especially in my age group. I'm curious to see where this one leads.

A guy with a book (or a nook) gets me every time lol (sn:this isn't him lol)

Giving him my number was a great idea, but then again it's been that kind of week. It only make sense that I'd meet a guy that could spark my interest this week. As I told my friend Keke yesterday, the only thing that could make this week better would be if I won the Lottery without playing lol..

G'nite folks, I'll keep you posted on what going on with this one.

Desiree, (Like Desiree's Baby)