Hair salons = pain

So, as you all know I am in Jamaica. I have been here before and I remember getting my hair done for pretty cheap so I was thinking, 'Yes, I can get some twists here for less than half the price and on my dads dime, great!'...

Now, I am not huge in the weave game. I rarely put extensions in my hair at all, even braides, because although people always love it, I have an issue with getting compliments for something that is not truely me. (Which is why I also couldn't get myself to buy that "Miraculous" bra from Victoria's Secret either. I didnt want to walk around pretending to be a D-cup and attracting boob men only for them to find out I'm really a B.. false advertising isn't my thing lol)

But back to the point.

We got to the salon around 1 pm. No one touched my hair until about 3 pm. and the girl was rough! She yanked and pulled and jerked my beautiful curls around with this untra fine comb before blow drying it with the hottest blow dryer I have ever felt. I wanted to  rethink this whole "getting my hair done" thing.

The experience took forever and my and my hair were both exausted at the end of it all! At the end of the 10 hour ordeal, my hair looked great. However I have decided to swear off salons that are more concerned with hair looking good than feeling good..

Pictures are coming soon enough..

We, the women of the fatherless tribe, love differently...

I didn't get the chance to grow up with my dad. I grew up with an asshole for a step dad until he died and then it was a single parent home. I'm not bitter about my upbringing. I love me and how I turned out. I'm more independant than quite a few people my age, and I love that about myself. I don't even think about it most of the time, but today, it has been on my mind.

Like I said a few blogs ago, I'm staying at my dads house in Jamaica. My dad moved back to Jamaica at the very end of my eigth grade year and within a few months he started his "new family". Now I never had any high hopes of my parents getting together so I didn't care, but as I see my little brother and sister interact with my dad, I know that we will never have the relationship he will have with them.

There are no hard feelings between me and my dad. My childhood was just fine and he had a presence, I wasn't abandoned. He just wasn't there, living with me and having a say in everyday decisions. Even still, I dont even ask his opinion, I go over things with my mother, make a decision, then notify him.. That's just how it is.

I watched my little brother and sister throw around "I love you's" and run to him laughing and smiling with nothing but trust. I can't do that. It's strange to watch my dad, the man that was barely in my life and is still barely there now, it's hard to watch him be a good dad to them. My "I love you's" are few and calculated. I never want to say them because I dont want to feel obligated later. Sounds bad, I know. Please forgive me. This is how I view all relationships though. I only tell people I love them if I truely mean it and I think I'll mean it forever.

I dont look at all this as negative, just different. I have been in love, once, and he broke my heart. I survived, bounced back and screwed up massively with the next guy. I thought I cared more than I really did, and as a result gave more of myself than I should have, but I'm good now.

While I do love my family, I will admit, growing up without him ruined our relationship. I think there is a cap on how close we can get. There is just so much he doesn't know about me, and so much I'll probably never share. We, the women of the fatherless tribe, we love differently, we love carefully.

Everyting Irie... Jamaica: Day 2 recap/ Kids say the darnedest things haha

Day 2 is over now, and it was fun. I'm exausted but I didnt want to go to bed without letting you all know just how beautiful Jamaica is...

This picture looks like one of the backgrouds that come pre-programmed in computers. I wonder if I could sell this pic to Windows and bank off that.. anywho, we went to Mystic Mountains in Ocho Rios, it was beautiful, so much fun.

Me, adding to the beauty ;)

We all had a good time. They had a few rides but it was a pretty mellow day. We just took in the a lot of the sights and atmosphere. The pool area was a little small so I didnt get in the water so I guess that means no peeks at me in my bathing suit just yet lol but no worries they are coming!! My sister did get into the water though. She had a fun pretending to be a tourist and said some funny things today:

WHAT I LEARNED FOR MY LITTLE SISTER:

1. We shouldn't listen to Chris Brown even though he's coming out with new songs because he still beat up Rihanna.

2. Chris Brown did have a good reason to beat up Rihanna, she gave him AIDS.

3. Beyonce is demon possessed.

she might be on the right track with all this lol...

my dad.. and the little girl with all the answers :)

See you tomorrow,

-Desi

Jamaica: Day 2

So here I am in Jamaica for spring break! Day 1 was uneventful- maybe because it was raining but more likely because I slept for a total of about 10 hours in the 3 days before. I slept for about 13 hours last night and now I'm ready to do what spring breakers do!!.. Except with less alcohol lol.. I'm staying at my dad's house, can't be coming home all drunk.

As you know, or actually hopefully you dont, that means someone other that Tabitha or Shannon is reading my blog (exciting, welcome!), but I have a little bro and sister. My sister is 7 and she is talkative but it's ok. My little brother doesnt talk much. He's only 1 but he smiles at me pretty often espeically when I take pics of him. Pretty cool kids, I like 'em.



my little brother... picking his nose lol



my little sister.. smilin' and profilin'

I think today is going to be a beach day. I need some food first though.. we'll see what today brings and I'll share it all either later on or tomorrow. Time for food and some good ol' American TV:) more pics to come!

and one of my good friends Nerlande is coming tomorrow :)


-Desi (via a computer in Jamaica)

Jamaica!!! (Bucket List Item)

I'm working on my bucket list. The whole idea came about when I was reading an article in Clutch Magazine, which you should bookmark and read every Monday in my opinion. The article asked me if I would date me. The writer was talking about how she was still working on herself and how she still had a few flaws that made her less than the perfect mate. I do believe we should always be growing and changing so we will always feel less than perfect for the one we truly love. If we think we never need to make ourselves better for who we're with there's a problem in that relationship. but that's neither here nor there.

The thing that stuck out to me in her story was that she said that the list of experiences she wishes she had is miles longer than the list of experiences she has had. When I read than I had an "ah-ha" moment. (I've been having quite a few of those lately lol.)

So I say again, I've been working on my bucket list. Adding to it, and accomplishing things.

One of the goals was to travel more. I'm going to Jamaica on Saturday. Now I will admit I have been there before but with a tight budget, I grabbed the opportunity to go for spring break. Plus my family (dad, little sis and little bro) all live there, so I wanted to see them too.

I may revisit you all one more time before I go but most of the next few blogs will come from over seas :)

Good night and good travels

Desi

P.S. Make a bucket list, it's easier to accomplish things that are written down in front of you.